“Do You Vote?”
It was a momentous election – and I don’t mean this one. The young pedicurist was busy at my feet, and I was wondering about what might be the outcome of the voting. “Do you vote?” I asked. She paused in her work and looked up at me, “I don’t know how.”
Don’t know how? I was stunned. “You didn’t learn how to do that in school?” Her response was,“Not that I remember.” Later I asked my forever friend Joyce, “Did we learn about voting in school?” “Yes, in third grade – Mrs. Qualley gave us a sample ballot and showed us how we could fill it out. I filled mine and took it home to show my parents. They were shocked. I voted for Eisenhower and they were long-standing Democrats. But what did I know? I was a third grader.”
Now we’re into another momentous election, and “Do You Vote?” has become my new question. A simple way into talking to people about the power of the vote and a quiet way into what can be the morass of mixed and passionate opinions.
Yes, religion, politics, and money can be sensitive ones, but also ones that are full of life and significance. We learn new things. Expand and maybe even change our minds. If we want to.
I started asking the question because I was surprised by the number of people who said, “I don’t talk politics with family or friends.” Don’t talk politics with family or friends? It made me think of the old social adage, “Don’t talk about religion, politics, or money.” These are the topics that define us – our values, attitudes, and actions. They can determine how and where we live. Are we trying to just keep the conversation light and not go deeper? What are we missing if we avoid these topics?
Yes, religion, politics, and money can be sensitive ones, but also ones that are full of life and significance. We learn new things. Expand and maybe even change our minds. If we want to.
I’ve asked that question – Do you vote? – probably a dozen times now, and I’ve never gotten the same answer. Sometimes I dig deeper – sometimes I don’t. It depends on the situation and the time.
My first foray into the question was when I was checking out of a hotel on my way home from a trip to Canada. Kamala Harris had just accepted the nomination to be the Democratic candidate for President after President Joe Biden had stepped aside. The young black receptionist was making morning greetings as she handled my payment when I asked, “Do you vote?” She looked up at me in surprise, a smile lit her face, and she said, “Yes. Now I do.”
Waiting outside for the shuttle to the airport, I chatted with an elegantly dressed older woman. She’d been visiting family and was eager to get back to her home in New York. “Do you vote?” I asked. She stood still for a moment and said, “Oh, I mostly do. I just don’t know if it makes any difference – if it counts.” Hmm. I thought of my conversation with a colleague, who when I asked her if she voted, said “Yes! I was a social studies teacher and taught civics. I told my students, ‘You don’t always have a voice. When you do, use it!’”
I learned recently that the past Presidential election was decided by the equivalent of 2 votes per precinct. Clearly your vote counts – particularly in local elections or if you live in a swing state.
Then there were these two young men. I was heading out for a walk when I saw them drive by in their pick-up with a huge American flag flying behind. Twice around the park and heading back, I noticed them again – this time in the parking lot. They were adjusting the flag in the back of their pick-up to high atop a pole. I figured I knew which way they leaned in the Presidential campaign. And Aha! another chance to ask The Question.
“Good morning,” I called out as I approached them. “I was wondering – Do you vote?” They looked at each other and then at me, “No, we’re too young.” Oh, how old are you?” “17.” “Well, next year you can vote,” I said, and then “I like your flag!” I had to chide myself as I walked away, “Stereo-typing, aren’t you?”
A new acquaintance I’d met – a 90 year-old woman who could nearly outpace me while walking – offered another take on voting. “Do you vote?” I asked. “Oh, my husband and I were staunch Republicans – we always voted the ticket. But I just can’t bring myself to vote for Trump.”
“Will you vote for Harris?” She looked up at me, smiled and said, “I’m working on it.”
And then I asked the manicurist – a heavily tattooed young woman, “Do you vote?” “I can't.” “Can’t?” I thought. Is she too young? I must have had a questioning look on my face because she said, “I have a felony. I have to wait 10 years – I have 2 more to go.”
Interesting, I thought. Here we have a Presidential candidate with 34 felonies and he can vote, but she can’t. It depends upon the state you live in whether or not you have that right. I’ve always believed every citizen who’s served their sentence or is on parole should be able to vote.
When I want to learn more, I’ve learned to ask, “What are you thinking?” It’s a way to begin a conversation without bias or blame. And then I listen.
At minimum, during this momentous election, we need people to vote. And while at maximum, I would like to sway people to vote my way, I’ll reserve conversation until I first hear if they vote and what they’re thinking. It’s the only way to start to find common ground.
I suggest you start asking, “Do you vote?”. Then listen.
Special thanks to Len Danielson for the photo.